


Stars Above

by AuroraShard



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Trans Character, Trans Duck Newton, Trans Female Character, Trans Juno Divine, Trans Male Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-30 22:21:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19412584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuroraShard/pseuds/AuroraShard
Summary: He has always known he was different; First his identity and now the mysterious visions that haunt him.A short fic exploring Duck coming to terms with who he is, and coming out.Feaures: Deadnaming, transphobia, dysphoria, and transition. Explanations for these can be found in the end notes.This was written prior to Duck's backstory being canon, so it is canon divergent.





	Stars Above

**Author's Note:**

> See the end notes for content warning descriptions.
> 
> This was written before a lot of Duck's backstory was explained, so it differs from canon.

“Get back here!” came a shout as he skidded around the corner, skateboard in hand. He dropped it to the concrete with a clatter, quickly skating on down the plaza, leaning around other shoppers with a laugh. That is until a police car appeared at the end of the alley he was cutting down.  
“Margaret, what the Hell? This is the third call from Mr. Riley these last two weeks.” the sheriff said, stepping out of the car. He grimaced, preparing to skate back the way he had come. “We can't keep doing this. You have to come with us down to the station.”

He scowled at anyone who looked at him, flipping a pen between his fingers, feet propped on the desk nearest to his chair. He overheard talks of community service, of reparations for the chaos he and his friends had caused. He could see Mr. Riley through the window in the sheriff's office, angry and pointing. Maybe he wouldn't cause so much trouble if folks would stop treating him like a child. _Like a girl._ Mr. Riley stormed out of the office, glowering in his direction. He met his eyes with a blatant challenge. The sheriff sighed as he stuck his head out the door.  
“Come on in”. Duck rose lazily, stretching and tugging his denim jacket tighter around his shoulders. He lounged in the chair across from the sheriff’s desk.  
“Margaret, I don't know what's going on with you. Fights at school, the bike incident, and now harassing Mr. Riley? The town is biting at my heels trying to get me to do something about it. What's wrong?” The sheriff leaned back in his chair, watching him. He scowled. _Margaret._ He hated the name.  
“You're not my guidance counselor, _sir._ I don't have to tell you shit.” The sheriff frowned. “If someone starts a fight with me I'm gonna finish it. Nobody gives me respect so I'm teaching them a lesson. I didn't hurt Mr. Riley or his store. I just wrote him a nice note.” The sheriff frowned.  
“That's not how he put it. We are all worried about you; We're just trying to look out for you. You're one of our brightest in town. We want to make sure you're alright.” Duck flashed back to the bright blue woman in his dreams. Something must have shown on his face, and the sheriff leaned forward, eyebrows furrowed.  
“Just going through my rebel phase, sir. Rock and roll and all that. Anything else?” He stood to leave. The sheriff held up a hand.  
“You're gonna help Ranger Barrett down at the forest, a few hours a week. You'll have to work that out with him, but he'll be checking in with us. Get outside, away from those Jackson kids. They're trouble and I know you know that.” The sheriff rose. “We don't want to find you dead somewhere, Margaret.”

The nickname came soon after, when he ducked under Andrew Holloway’s arm, causing him to punch Brian in the face instead. _Duck_ , they called him, and he secretly cherished it. No longer _Margaret_ , except to teachers. Soon, he hoped, it would stick with them, too.

He sat on the edge of the platform he had constructed far in the woods behind his house, listening to the raucous shouting of a pair of squirrels somewhere off in the pines nearby. His mp3 player sat next to him as he swung his legs absently, humming Joy Division. He felt the woman appear again, a strange ripple in the air. He grimaced, slamming his eyes closed for a moment before stuffing his walkman in his backpack. He scrambled down the platform ladder and hit the ground running, leaving her behind. He didn't stop until he was home, scrubbing himself in the shower and thinking about anything except how wrong his body felt.

He started heading to the woods twice a week at first, meeting Ranger Barrett in the school parking lot and riding down to the office. He helped him with odd jobs at first, filing and chopping wood and answering the phones. He flipped through tree identification books and stared at Smokey the Bear posters under Ranger Barrett's watchful eye until one day the ranger grabbed his hat and said,  
“Come on, up. Grab your backpack and a bottle of water.” They drove out along an old logging road for a few miles, parking at one of the trailheads. Ranger Barrett smiled as Duck climbed out, shouldering his pack. “Let me show you why I do what I do.”

They reached the crest an hour later, sweating even as the day chilled around them. They both sunk to sit on a lichen speckled rock, and Barrett nodded at the horizon. The sun was slowly setting, bathing the forest below in soft light, and coloring the rocks in watercolor shades the color of bright fall leaves. As Duck took it all in he froze, water bottle halfway to his lips. He had never been up this high before, never seen the forest like this. The pair silently watched the sunset for a few minutes before Barrett spoke.  
“Back in the 20s, there weren't hardly any deer here. They had to bring 'em in in the 30s. I've ran around these woods for the better part of my life, and now I get paid to do it. This place is home to me, and home for many other folks, too. I wanna keep it safe. I once almost started a forest fire a good few years back, downstate. This old bear of a ranger gave me the talking to of my life. But it didn't sink in until I moved up here and saw this view. I know Sheriff just wants ya’ outta town. But I know you're better than all that. You've been a great help around here. If you come by next week, you can join me on patrol. I think you're ready to do more than answer the phone.”

With all the forest to watch over, Duck knew he could always outrun the voices in his head. In the woods, there was no Destiny, and the trees didn't call him any name but trespasser. 

Fall turned to spring and summer, and Duck was in the woods more often than not, learning how to tell trees apart and read the forest. He pored over bird guides and only got into fights half the time now. He befriended his coworkers, spending time with the other rangers who were close to his age. Ranger Barrett mentored him in being a ranger. He spent his time off in his fort, listening to the birds with his eyes closed, trying to forget the unease plaguing his dreams.

He felt the click of connection as he flipped through a comic book one day in the park truck, waiting for Ranger Barrett to finish yelling at some out-of-state hikers. He froze, re-reading the pages over and over. Sasquatch, a superhero, trapped in Snowbird’s body. He shoved it into his backpack as he saw Barrett approaching, holding a pack of confiscated beer. As he climbed into the truck he turned to Duck, concern etched in the lines of his face.  
“You feelin' alright?” Duck shook his head, mumbling,  
“Mind dropping me home?”

That night he dreamed of standing in the forest, drawing a gun against a roaring monster, illuminated by a full moon. As he stared, the gun melted and unfurled into a long sword, a mouth forming from the metal. It melted into a smile as Duck jerked awake.

Each night for a week after he dreamed erratic visions, all featuring the woman of blue light. She tried to tell him about destiny and visions, and he woke to the morning with a sense of something to come. 

Looking out at the forest after a long shift, meteors streaking across the sky overhead, Duck clenched his fists, twisting a ring on his finger. He thinks of Sasquath, and of feeling understood. He scrunched his eyes shut and exhaled.  
“Jack, I gotta… I got something to tell ya'. I…" He sighed, watching a particularly bright meteor. He didn't dare look his coworker and friend in the eye. He spoke in a rush; "I'm not a girl. I have always known that I'm a boy and I know it's different but I can't keep living like this, I just can't. And I… I hope you can accept me." He glanced up quickly, locking eyes with his friend. He froze, taking in his smile and the tears in his eyes.  
"Of course, Duck. I, I'm the same way, too. Well, not quite. I know I'm a girl. Guess we can trade." She smiled as Duck laughed, wet with tears and disbelief. She wiped tears from her eyes; "I've been thinking about a new name. How do you feel about Juno?"

It took him months before he spoke to the woman in blue. He told her to go away, that he didn't care what she told him. He just wanted to be _normal_ , for God’s sake, not trapped in a body that was so _wrong_ , not dreaming of facing down monsters with a sword that spoke to him, and someone calling a name he wanted nothing more than to forget. 

When he finally snapped and told Minerva that he was a boy, she switched pronouns and name immediately. The information didn't faze her, literally or otherwise. His dreams were a little less tense now that he was affirmed. 

As he worked around the park in the summer, wearing the baggy uniform shirts and hiding his short cropped hair under a ball cap, he practiced lowering his voice and changing his walk, with Juno offering pointers all the while.

He finds the sword in his dreams, tucked in a cave outside of town. The steam of the hot springs outside fractures the light of the moon as it illuminates the cave, casting shadows along the sword's shimmering length. The sword smiles its molten smile at him. 

As he and Ranger Barrett help douse a fire one summer, Duck realises there's nowhere he’d rather be.

He hikes to the caves alone one afternoon, finds the sword where he had seen it in his dreams. He reaches for it, the mineral tang of the hot springs water filling his lungs. It smiles as he grabs the hilt. 

He comes out the next season, and if the town is slow to accept it, then he doesn't care. He hears the rumors behind his back, about Juno and the punk music and _could it be…_? He corrects folks for months, stitches patches to his jackets with his name and pronouns, done living a lie.

He cries the day he first gets a T shot, marvels as his voice deepens, even laughing along with Juno as he grows into it. Juno helps as he learns to shave his new grown stubble, laughing. Years later, he traces his top surgery scars every day it feels like, still amazed that they're real. He donates his binders and helps start a youth group, taking them on hikes and listening as they teach him new words and identities. Some days he still feels like the teenager in the ranger truck, reading comic books and feeling understood for the first time.

He replaces Ranger Barrett when he retires, and the office feels emptier without Juno bantering with him across the office. The cycle of the forest loops over and over, until one day a young woman with bright colored hair apologizes and offers him a s'more.  
“I'm Aubrey, The Lady Flame. Sorry about the campfire.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is the first fic I have published in about 11 years! 
> 
> Shout out to Alternative_approachtochronology (https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alternative_approachtochronology/pseuds/Alternative_approachtochronology) for the headcanons that inspired this post (https://alternative-approachtochronology.tumblr.com/post/177165462936/trans-duck-newton-headcanons) and for the beta reading and encouragement! 
> 
> I had a blast looking up trans comic book characters, and trying to figure out which one Duck might have seen. I couldn't resist when I saw the story of Sasquatch and Snowbird!
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism are welcomed and appreciated! <3
> 
> About the tags; Duck is deadnamed in the start of the fic by others before he comes out. It bothers and angers him. Minerva deadnames him, but switches without question after Duck comes out to her.
> 
> There is a single line about dysphoria, after he gets up and runs out of the woods. To skip it, scroll to the next paragraph after the sentence ".. stuffing his walkman in his backpack." Or skip the paragraph that starts "He sat on the edge of the platform…"
> 
> He comes out to Minerva and later, to Juno. They are accepting and supportive. 
> 
> Duck comes out to 'Jack', who is revealed to be Juno, who is also trans. After Duck comes out, she does, too, suggesting the name 'Juno' for herself. 
> 
> After he comes out, he hears people talking about him behind his back, but nothing explicitly transphobic. 
> 
> There are one-line discussions of him getting HRT and top surgery. 
> 
> The story is mostly positive, and ends with Duck feeling happy and fulfilled.


End file.
